Dull Morning

I woke up today feeling sad and full of regret.  They say that time will fix things and eventually the memories will just stop floating back.  I honestly wonder if he ever thinks about me... I hope he is happy because I want him to be.

I am supposed to be working this morning but the weather says it's not 65 degrees yet. -__- I'm honestly considering going there just to clean up and mark down all the chemicals and what not... Poop... I need to keep myself busy today.  Tonight I get to go see Kathy Trinh! I love her and I'm super excited to hang with her again. It was probably a good thing that we planned something for today...

Vampire

I am just finishing up Twilight.  I started reading the books over again which caused me to have a Twilight movie urge.  I want a man like Edward Cullen...someone who can't stand to be away from me and will protect me from every imaginable thing (monsters, pain, death).  I can dream right?

Work has been going pretty swell... I'm getting sun burned though. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the summer without turning another race.  I work tomorrow now too and hopefully I'll get a chance to jump into the pool.  I am officially addicted to Ebay.  I love shopping around and getting good deals.  I just bought a Korean dress for $20.99.  I pray that it will fit and look nice on me haha.

Everything is Going to be Okay

I had a fantastic time sleeping over at Maddie's house last night.  We stayed up discussing random hilarious topics.  Haha I was laughing so hard that I could hardly breath...I really missed being this happy.  After spending this time with my friends I realize that things are going to be okay and life moves on.  Each day just keeps getting better and better.  Maddie's mom made crepes for us for breakfast.  She makes the best food! We also went to a vietnamese restaurant called VINA...? I think?  I really liked it! I also really love fooooood!

Anna and I went to Hoban for lunch today.  It was delicious which wasn't a surprise. It was nice to spend some time with Anna. I had a really great time hanging out with Kathy and her group of friends.  They are all so nice and accepting.  I am jealous of the friends that she has.  I can just tell that they are all really great people.  Hanging out with them really helped me get my mind away from my thoughts.  I felt relaxed and just happy.  I love that feeling. I had a really great night and I loved the new X Men movie. Tonight is a good night.... 

Life is Moving Forward

I had another good day at work.  The pool isn't officially opened so I pretty much sit and watch the ducks swim around in the poop colored water.  I am getting super tan though! I swept the bathrooms trying not to think too hard about all the spiders that might crawl up my broom.  I made puppy chow and these chocolate bars tonight. Yumm!

I started reading Twilight today at work.  Ugh... I hate how the only image in my head is Kristin Stewart.... totally ruins the book.  So...I absolutely love my macbook pro... I also love my puppy... I can honestly say that each day is getting easier and easier.  I am enjoying each day and staying positive.  I miss my happy self.

Tomorrow I am going to a sleepover with Maddie and Anna. I am so excited! I still miss having her as a friend... sort of bummed that things turned out this way...

Life is Full of Confusion

I honestly have no idea where my heart is right now.  The past  couple weeks have been an up and down battle with myself.  I know that I want him in my life.  I want us to be great but I can't see that happening.  I was reminded of how much I worried about him each night and how upset I would make myself.  I just don't think I could handle it again... I feel like I am trying so hard to make things work but he isn't giving back anything.  I have decided to let him decide and take a step back away from the situation.  I want to be with a guy that knows for certain that I am the girl that he wants.  I don't want to be compared to with other girls and I am tired of crying and trying to convince him to be with me.  Maybe things aren't meant to be and maybe he was right, we have changed too much.  


"Realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive.  Because you are.  And that pain you feel?  That's life.  The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for."  ~ OTH


I am so grateful to have one of my best friends Kathy Trinh.  She is pretty much the sister I wish I had.  I love her so much.  We like to think that we are twins because I feel like we both understand each other.  She has always been there for me no matter what.  I can depend on her for anything.  I have only known her for about 10 months but it feels like we have known each other for years.  I would not have been able to get past my first year of college if it weren't for her.  She is a reminder that I will always have people who love me and care about me.  She is honest with me but also understanding. Gosh I don't know where I would be without this girl.